but ut is INCREDIBLY difficult for me to experience ejaculation. I must be on my knees and do a gymnastics routine of bending, pushing pulling and stretching. I have had it for a few years and I have had a urologist tell me there is nothing wrong I have been through therapy and I and 100% convinced it is a hormonal or neurological problem. I can get erections but they wont stay up unless I am in “the position”. It’s been going on for a while and has gotten worse over the last few years. I am consequently obsessed. I cant stop thinking about masturbation and also other men getting off. When I have these thoughts, it makes me angry. Very angry, becausee I am jelaous of thier ability to come easily. I remmebr what it was like to function like that and it makes me so upset that I am no longer able. These thoughts consume my day, and I often run to the men’s room to masturbate, even though I cant come unless I do my stretching on the floor. I obviously cant do that in the men’s room at work, so I end up more frustrated than before and continue to have these obsessive thoughts about it. I know that there are issues of inadequacy and being jealous of other men I need to work out with my psychologist, but I think a loop has been created chemicallly as well. This is torture for me and is putting a huge strain on my realtionship with my partner(male) and our sex life. He is bored with the fact that he cant make me cum and I have to do it myself, all stretched out, He says some day he is going to have to fulfill certain needs elsewhere but he still loves me and doesnt want to break up. He feels that outside sex is just a way to add variety and fulfill certain things. I tend to agree, but it makes me feel so inadequate and broken to think of him getting fullfilled by another man when I cannot offer the same. I am not angry with him at all, in fact I feel bad for him having to deal with this. It makes me feel worse about my problem though and I feel like its my fault because I dont function right. I just want to feel like a normal man again and its all I can think about. Can anyone offer any insight, advice, a way to stop the obsessive thoughts about it?. I know that The physical problem should be dealt with, with a medical doctor,(Levitra helps with the erection problem but not the ejaculation, in fact it makes it MORE difficult) but my REACTION to it is not helping at all. I feel so out of control, lost and broken and am in despair over this. People dont realize how much sexual dysfunction hurts.
